JANUARY REFLECTION

I can't believe the first month of 2017 is almost over. It has simultaneously felt like the longest yet shortest month ever. I've crammed a lot in and lot's of things have happened so I thought it would be nice to just recap everything that went on over the past 4 weeks.
  • My dog was put down.
 Starting it off on a bit of a downer - just to get it out the way. On the 22nd of this month my beloved doggy Kimmi was sadly put down. It was completely unexpected and rocked my whole family; we're still struggling to deal with her not being around. She was getting on a bit, I can't really remember a time without her because I was only 6 or so when we got her. No matter how old she was, she always acted like a puppy though. And although she hated being cuddled, she would tolerate it if she saw I was upset. She was definitely me in dog form - grumpy, stubborn and ate everything.

Miss you puppy x

  • I had a job interview (then turned it down).
This was super exciting because I am desperate to get out of my current place of work. If you know me at all you will know how fed up I am of my job. So in December last year I applied for a couple of apprenticeships and the apprenticeship company contacted me and said they'd like to help me find an apprenticeship - brilliant! I was over the moon and by mid-January I had my first interview. It was a strange experience, I don't want to go into it too much but basically they offered me a job in Glasgow and I had to turn it down. Glasgow is a good 2 hours from where I live which is a lot of travel money. So I'm still on the hunt and hopefully next months reflection will have some good news!

  • My boyfriend finally turned 18.
 I feel like I have been waiting for this moment my whole life - or since I turned 18...I was so excited to finally be able to actually go out to bars and stuff with him and not have to buy his drink or rated 18 games. We had a very nice, very long drinking weekend which completely destroyed me; I just can't drink 3 days in a row. Can't do it. Unfortunately at the end of this mad weekend was when my dog died, so it was a little bittersweet.

I think that's all the main events that happened in January; I'm probably forgetting something crucial and important. Ah well. I hope February is a little more positive and things start happening on the job front!

How was your January?

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ABH MODERN RENAISSANCE PALETTE REVIEW + EVERYDAY LOOK

Longest post title ever.

From my boyfriend for Christmas this year (last year??? Too confusing.) I very very kindly received the highly sought after Modern Renaissance palette by ABH. I did actually put this on the little list I gave him but he told me he wasn't able to find it, the little sneak. I was always hesitant to buy it for myself because £40 for an eyeshadow palette is extortionate - big up to my boyfriend for actually parting with the money. So I'm gonna do the typical blogger thing and give it a wee review, because why not.

I'm obsessed with the colouring of this palette more than I am any other palette - the red and orange shades in it are unlike any I've ever seen before. I feel like pinks and reds really suit me and once I get over the 'it's too beautiful I don't even want to touch it' stage, I think I'll use this every single day. (Update - have used almost every day.) The colours are so blendable and buttery and there's not one that I hate. I use the slightly darker ones as a makeshift eyeliner because I've fallen out with my liquid eyeliner. It just adds a little more definition but you don't need to be as precise and it's not as heavy.

Alongside the review today I thought I'd give you a little run down of one of the looks I love to do with this palette everyday. Obligatory disclaimer; I'm not a makeup artist and my makeup skills are subpar at best. But I tried, enjoy!

I started off by putting Tempera all over the lid as a base and then went in with Venetian Red in both the outer and inner corners. I blended them up into my crease and built up the colour until I was happy with it. It's always easier to start off light with eyeshadow, it's easy to build up colour but not so easy to remove it if you put on too much.

I then put Primavera in the gap in the middle (I'm so good at describing makeup things) and blended that into the pink. I then used a little eyeliner brush and used Cyprus Umber to not-so-neatly line my eyes. Then just pop on some mascara and you're done! Relatively quick and easy and it doesn't look like the worst thing ever.

I hope you enjoyed this lil review/tutorial/thing. Please ignore the state of my pores and my eyebrows and basically just my skin in general. The 50mm lens is amazing for detail, maybe a little too amazing.

Have you ever tried the Renaissance palette?

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PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST

This topic is something I've had to consider a lot over the past year and it's something I still struggle with daily. So I thought I'd do the word vomit thing and just type and see where I end up. Lauren's guide to writing blog posts.


A CHAT ABOUT CHANGE

Today I've decided to go for a thing that's a little more word-y than usual. I don't really do these because talking about beauty products is my forte and when I try to do lifestyle posts they just end up a giant jumble of thoughts and there's no structure to it whatsoever. But I want to do more lifestyle type posts in 2017 because I feel like I don't post about myself enough on my blog which is a bit silly quite frankly. So here you go, have a mess of very disjointed thoughts on how I feel about change.


I struggle a lot with the concept of change and not having my little comforts around me; I like routine and when I'm faced with the possibility of that routine diminishing, it affects me more than it would the regular person. I'm so used to having the same job and even though I hate it, leaving it for something else will be one of the scariest things ever. I've worked there for 2 years and although I'm more than ready to leave and the thought of having a job I dont have to wear ugly flared trousers to is really exciting, it's also terrifying and thinking about it makes my anxiety go mad. Which is silly because I'm going to have to deal with it very soon, given it's one of my goals for this year.


You may or may not have noticed that my Blogmas attempt fell a little short this year - I made it to day 15 (I think) and that was about it. I did have plenty of ideas but my motivation fell short as I stumbled into a bit of a mental health funk. I just decided there was no point stressing myself out further over trying to get a post up every day and making myself feel worse than I already did. Better luck this year though right? I guess I better start writing and scheduling the posts now. I still have my Christmas decs up...


The reason why I got so stressed out was because I was just overthinking everything that was going to happen this year. And when I get stressed and anxious I tend to feel extremely sick - I was actually sent home from work because of it. It was actually a massive wake up call for me, I should not have been worrying to the extent that I couldn't work. So I took a day to recover and was sent off to work again with some shiny new calming tablets and a whole new mindset. Of course, I still worry about everything changing and although things are pretty shit right now, what if this is as good as it's gonna get? Bleak outlook, I know.


I worry that things will change for other people and not for me - it already feels like everyone else is so much better off than I am which is really toxic thinking and I urge people not to think like me. I am actively trying to change the things that make me unhappy but that doesn't seem to help with my thinking nothing will change; I'm scared of it yet I need it. I'm worried things will get worse if they do change. But none of this is helping, if anything it's just making matters worse, so I'm trying my hardest to think positively and constantly remind myself that change is a good thing!


We need change in order to progress in life, or else it just gets dull and we lose interest in a lot of things. I know I've certainly been miserable due how mundane my life has felt recently, so a change of scenery and of profession is a good thing. I'm hoping for a change of living situation but that's if I were to aim really high. Praying for a change of money situation - I would like more of it. I'd like to change my blog, I want to progress more with my photography and thoughts and ideas. I want to change my mindset about life. I'm crazy motivated to make all these things happen and this is the year I'm gonna do it. Providing my anxiety doesn't cause another meltdown. But we're not thinkin' about that anymore.


I hope you didn't mind this little ramble - just some things I wanted to get off my chest. Hopefully there's gonna be so more of these little personal posts, I waffle on a lot about my favourite beauty products or what I wore last week, but I never actually sit and write out genuine thoughts. I'm not sure if I enjoyed it yet. Everything still feels too disjointed in my head and doesn't link up when I write it out. But hey-ho, I gave it my best shot!


OUTFIT - NEW LOOK (all of it. Literally.)

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2017 GOALS

I'm honestly a little in disbelief that it is actually 2017 already, it feels like just yesterday that we were all celebrating the start of 2016. I'm hoping a lot changes for me this year - if all goes to plan, this could be an amazing year. I'm gonna list out my goals in this post and at the end of the year I can come back and read this and see how well I've done. Instead of going for the usual 'lose weight' or 'eat more healthily', I've opted for goals that are a bit more personal and specific to me. Mainly because I want them to be realistic, and me eating healthily just isn't.



1. CHANGE JOBS.

This is the biggest priority for me this year (mostly in the first few months of the year, I want to change jobs as quickly as possible) because my current job is causing me a lot of unhappiness and stress. I've had my job for roughly 2 years and it's not the career I see myself doing long-term - this year I'm ready to make the change and start doing something I enjoy and want to make a proper career out of. Let the gruelling task of job searching begin...

2. BE MORE ORGANISED WITH BLOGGING/IMPROVE MY PHOTOGRAPHY.

These two kinda go hand-in-hand; when my photography improves I should enjoy blog photography a lot more. My posting has been very sporadic over the past few months and I haven't exactly had the best ideas for posts, so this year I'm going to try my hardest to think of some original post ideas and hopefully include different sorts of photography. My blog planner from Dot Creates should help me be more organised with my posts so they dont seem as jumbled and word vomit-y. Like this one does.


3. BE MORE EMPATHETIC/LESS SENSITIVE.

I'm quite a pansy in that a lot of things upset me that really really shouldn't. In the next year I want to try and get that under control and make myself realise that not every action or comment or decision is aimed at or influenced by me. I need to try and put myself in other people's shoes and think about how the way I act makes them feel. This one is a work in progress but if I can actually manage to do it it'll make me and those around me so much happier.

4. SAVE MONEY.

Up until about May/June I was doing so well with saving money, but from then on it all went downhill and I end up leaving myself with about £5 to last me for the week until my next payday. I have a savings pot that I'm trying to build up and if it weren't for Christmas I'd probably have more than £40 to my name right now.


So there's my main goals for this year - I'm looking forward to trying to achieve them and looking back on this post at the end of they ear. Although I'm also hoping 2017 doesn't go even nearly as quickly as 2016 did because what even was that?! It felt as if it lasted about 3 minutes.

What are your goals for 2017?

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